Develop your family rhythm

We all have a rhythm.  We all make choices for our family and fill our schedules with some really great activities, events and past-times.  We make room on the schedule for what we believe to be important.  As a result, we establish a rhythm for our family.  In the midst of this rhythm, where does spiritual development for our children fit? Does it fit into a neat box that we have blocked out for church on Sunday morning?  (Please note, by making church on Sunday mornings part of your rhythm, you are making the statement that it is important.)  The questions remain—how on earth do we add another item to the to-do list?  How do I instill faith in my children?    

What if we shift our thinking and leverage the time we already have with our children to build a faith in them?  If we can start thinking about spiritual development as HOW we do daily life rather than one more thing to do daily, we begin to make it part of our rhythm and not our to-do list.  It will be reflected as something that is important in our family life.

When Moses and the Israelites were nearing the end of their journey through the wilderness, he impressed upon them that teaching their children about God was not to be compartmentalized.  He needed them to understand the importance of integrating God into their daily rhythm.  In Deuteronomy 6, Moses told them:

⁴ Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. ⁵ Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. ⁶ These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. ⁷ Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. (NIV)

At the time, it was likely a commonsense message.  They were literally depending on God for food supplies raining down from the heavens.  Their path was directed by a pillar of fire by night and one of a cloud by day.  Their distractions from God were minimal.  They were talking about His presence throughout the day.  However, Moses knew that in a short while when they cross the Jordan River, it would be much easier to lose focus on God.  The food would be plentiful and delectable.  They would drink from wells that had been dug before them.   Life was about to change dramatically from their time in the wilderness.  Moses knew they needed to integrate God into their family rhythm or He would easily be forgotten.  

The distractions in our lives, thousands of years later, have increased exponentially.  This generation of parents is more intentional about creating opportunities for our children to develop into well-balanced kids more than any other generation. We want to make sure that they excel physically, academically, and socially.  They are engaged in sports, music lessons, drama, art classes, tutoring, scouts…the list goes on.  Our rhythm is busy and full of lots of great “stuff.”  

If we shift our thinking to integrating God into the rhythms we live, we release him from the Sunday morning box.  We can influence the time we have with our children to incorporate a faith in God.  Moses referred to four times that we can use as teachable moments with our children: when we start our day, when we drive in the car, when we eat meals together and when we tuck them in at night.   Use these times to reflect with your children on how God is providing for them, working in their favor, available to listen, etc.  “Discuss your own faith journey and all of its ups and downs, too,” recommends Dr. K. Powell, Sticky Faith.  These conversations demonstrate to kids that God is relational. By doing so, we are establishing an every-day faith in our children: One that will more likely stick with them beyond their impressionable years. 

I’d encourage parents to reflect on their family rhythm and how they can use the time they have to integrate faith conversations into it. Our rhythms might have changed from what Moses described, but the opportunity and responsibility to instill a faith in our children has not.

Over the next several weeks, we will be looking at how our parenting roles change throughout the daily rhythm.  

Make HIM the "go-to" source

Are we connecting our children to a God that is so real He is not only something they believe in, but someone they BELIEVE?  Do our children believe that His promises are for them, too?  By establishing a faith that is part of who they are, we are teaching our children that this God is not only a God who loves unconditionally, but a God who loves THEM unconditionally.  He is not only a God who can be trusted, but a God who THEY can trust.  He is not only a God who is faithful, but a God who will be faithful to THEM.  Until we can establish a faith that is woven into the fabrics of their lives, we will have children that only believe and understand the premise of faith. 

To develop disciples that rely on what they understand as truth and use it to influence the decisions that they make, we must help children develop a relationship with God that will surpass their immediate circumstances and intellectual understanding in God.  We must help make God their "go-to" source when faced with decisions now so that when they are faced with bigger decisions later (possibly life altering decisions), they have a source that has proven to be faithful.  

A Legacy?

Author, Reggie Joiner challenges me to think about what is important as I muddle through this journey we call parenting.  "Most parents can't give their children a lavish inheritance, but every parent will leave a personal legacy."

What legacy will I leave IN my children? Will it be one of a Christ-centered life?  Will it be one of reactive parenting or intentional parenting?  When my children are speaking my eulogy, what will they reflect on?  Working backwards from that vision challenges me to create a life that, above all, demonstrates the love of Christ.  Although I fall short (way short on most days), being intentional about creating a legacy in my children helps me to approach each day with a focus toward that goal.

What legacy will you leave IN your children?